A Course in Miracles (ACIM) doesn’t compromise that individuals are guiltless and no error has occurred. To learn this, you have to understand to identify the forgiveness to destroy judgments which requires honesty and discernment since they seem so right, nice, kind and necessary. In this third article, we are likely to bring empathy in to the discussion and how a ego uses it to judge errors of sickness, pain, suffering, misfortune and being treated unfairly as a way to hide (destroy) Love and stop you stuck in ego judgments. All four (4) aspects of forgiveness to destroy get found in the ego’s version of empathy which will be false empathy.
How the ego goes about this is something we see (judge) and act on everyday. Some consider attack to only be described as a verbal or a physical assault, it is really a denial of the Truth (Love) in whatever form it shows up. In false empathy, the ways in which the ego hides Love is more covert: It gets one to see (judge) and join (agree) in its conditional love with your heart venture out in compassion for these ego conditions thus making them appear through its magic act. Ego’s false love is conditional since the conditions are only those of the ego.
The meaning of empathy is: “The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.” From this,’share’is the key word since it pertains to the Law of Extension: That which you share, or extend, is what you want to help keep in your mind.
It comes right down to being honest about that which you are actually sharing and that’s difference between false empathy and true empathy. You’re either sharing the weakness (many conditions and false truths) of the ego or the strength of God (the One Truth, Love).
False empathy shares the ego’s weakness inspite of the “kind” judgment that it will help. Using the ego mind as cause only shares ego aspects of sin a course in miracles podcast, guilt and fear within their fragmented forms since it is nothing more than a judgmental thought system. Judgments are (1) decisions with (2) conclusions or meanings assigned to them.
Decision: Ego loves your heart to venture out to someone because they’re sick, in pain, suffering, have now been treated unfairly or some other misfortune.
Conclusion (meanings assigned to the decision): The ego feelings are compassion, concern, pity and ministering to people by wanting to eliminate others pain, suffering and unfairness (injustice), etc.
Effect: As ego cause judgments, they reinforce the thought of suffering, sickness, injustice and victimization by agreeing (joining) with the ego’s interpretation that something is wrong and these are true. Ego wants one to feel bad. It is a kill or be killed thought system. ACIM says to not trust our good intentions and ego considers these good intentions since they accept ego. Sharing those attributes is sharing weakness.
The further effect is this denies your head and strength (Love) associated with your head which denial hides the Truth (Love). That is an ego attack. Using projection, you are not responsible as it’s all beyond God’s control (Laws of Chaos). You blame someone or something different which will be also attack. However, the initial attack came ultimately back at the denial of Love and that’s where the choice needs to be made.
Same As You Empathizer
An individual who agrees with these ego conditions is a “same as you” forgiveness to destroy false empathizer. It’s joining in same error these conditions are true.
Using compassion since the judgmental god that ego believes itself to be, false empathizers join (agree with the ego conditions) to be a helper, do-good person, healer, teacher, martyr, or really anything that produces them feel different and more special than another. Even doctors may be tricked into this false empathy in sickness, pain and suffering.
This is the ego’s version of charity (giving of help). The issue is whenever you agree with the ego’s harmful judgments, you reinforce them and separation. Ego only shares itself.
Better Than You Empathizer
In case you throw in “feeling sorry” (and pity is the key in false empathy) for the individual, group, situation, etc., you’re adding the forgiveness to destroy facet of “better than you” because now you wish to help fix what’s wrong. You are able to only do so because you have something another does not. That makes you better. “Oh you poor thing, let me help with that.”
Anytime, we decide how a help will soon be delivered we’re playing “ego god.” In the metaphysics, God could be the victimizer and we’re the victim.
By definition, a martyr is: “Someone who displays or exaggerates their own discomfort in order to obtain sympathy or admiration.” Martyr’s encourage false empathy in two ways.
First, they feel victimized by someone and they encourage sympathy, pity and compassion for his or her situation. Second, because their mind is a tirade behind that victim exterior, they choose “better than you” victimizer forgiveness to destroy to judge and feel sorry (pity) for his or her victimizer’s sins while attacking them within their thoughts. They take part in requesting false empathy and extending it too.
Bargaining and Compromise Empathizer
Extending or receiving false empathy in just about any form involves ego bargains and compromises as part of the pact and here’s why: A bargain is an agreement between parties. That which you don’t realize is you merely bargained with the ego, a thought system whose intent is to harm using pain, sickness and suffering and injustice. You agreed with harming yourself and others. Ego is a kill or be killed thought system.
So you need to compromise to solve disagreements within the bargain. This further agrees to help keep the victim and victimizer roles going because someone will need to meet the wants of another and can get judged for it. From the metaphysics in ACIM, these are the roles we reenact constantly from the perceived separation. It’s the first injustice that individuals believe we did to God and He did to us.
The False Empathy Warning Label
While operating underneath the guise of good intentions, false empathizers have a notice label: They’re bargaining (choosing) the ego which is a harmful and judgmental thought system whose intent is to kill or be killed.
Identical to you: When thoughts, words and actions agree (same) with the ego’s conditions, it make those weak conditions stronger in both of you. This reinforces the thought of death being possible.
Much better than you: Whenever you don’t appreciate the “kind” pity, false empathizers switch on you in your hour of “need” and abandon or attack you thus proving that harm will happen.
Martyr: False empathizers won’t feel sorry for you personally unless you’re a prey, in pain and suffering; and just like the martyr, they want to kill the victimizer. This shares (extends) the kill or be killed thought system as an actual solution to the problem. That which you share you keep.
Bargaining and Compromise: False empathizes make a bargain with the ego by compassion (same as you) and joining to fix (better than you); and just like the martyr they will feel sorry for you personally since the victim but in addition wish to kill the victimizer. When joining with the interpretation of sickness, pain and suffering, your body becomes a false idol which will be merely a representation of god as those conditions are deemed more important than Love.
The only real ego compromise is death. Kill or be killed. It knows no other way.
Since empathy is sharing, then the only “worth” sharing is the strength of your head which will be sharing Love (God). Once we remind a brother of these ability to improve their mind and choose Love again, we’re a note for ourselves and them of the One Truth (Love). This joins with the strength of God instead of the weakness of the ego’s harmful thought system.
A unique relationship empathizes by seeing errors such as pain, suffering and unfair treatment and then supplies the weakness and circumstances of your body which will be ego. A Holy Relationship sees no error, as none has occurred, and offers (shares) the awareness of Love and strength of your head to somebody who has temporarily forgotten. Our actions may look the exact same externally, but your head (content) we’re choosing from is what counts.
We cannot know true empathy unless we share it. Giving and receiving are the same. It’s why the Course says to resign as your teacher and thinking you know what’s best. Remind a brother of the strength of your head, without any limits or conditions apart from Love, and let the Holy Spirit look after the others because He knows what true empathy is. We do not. Our good intentions have led us through the ego to false empathy. His strength is shared if you choose Him. Your brother’s the fact is the same as yours.
What is of value doesn’t result from the special relationship of seeing errors. Value is the One mind which will be Love. In a Holy Relationship, extending (sharing) that reminder points to the Holy Spirit where true empathy (sharing of Love) and healing take place as that’s correction of your head (forgiveness). It’s returning what is Worthy to Worth.